omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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