don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
