whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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