i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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