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So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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