How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
