I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm too high and old for this...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
