So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
