I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
