The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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