where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
