the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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