THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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