I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
