Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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