so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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