i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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