I smell stomach acid.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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