I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
