well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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