i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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