hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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