You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
