dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
