His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.