We won't sleep together?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
