Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
