I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize