help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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