he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
