Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
