White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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