Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
