There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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