We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
