I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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