my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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