Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
