Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
