I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
