There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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