Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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