I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
