No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
