oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
