apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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