This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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