Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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