i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
