The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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