HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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