'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
