Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize