Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
