don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
