i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
