New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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