idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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